Life can kick our butts and knock us to the ground. Childhood experiences color how we move through life and relationships. Our lives are then fueled by long standing self-perceptions about who we are as we travel our unique life path. But is it the only way to be you, a happy, fulfilled you? I think not. When you clear the brush and create a new path, go past your comfort level, you enter a world of possibilities, untapped creativity and new relationships . This may sound big and scary; but it’s vital — fear and inertia keep us frozen in our pain and feelings of powerlessness. Love and courage give us a second or third chance to ‘get it right’. What does fearlessness look like to you? Who do you want to be? How do you want to live your life? How do you want to be remembered? If you don’t yet know that’s fine, that’s normal. Choreographing a new relationship to yourself takes time and evolves.
Practice pausing, even for a second and notice a thoughts, an emotion or bodily sensation without judgment. Congratulations if you tried — you just had a mindful moment. We cannot control life — life happens; illness, disappointments, death. Yet if you try and envision challenges as opportunities to grow and re-perceive your self-image, this fuels possibility. This takes practice…lots of practice. Yet noticing and accepting your truth day after day, moment upon moment will reap jewels of joy. Practice understanding another’s point of view or acceptance of the present moment. When leaning into your challenges you develop muscles of psychological strength.
Visualize your fairy tale to create your ‘happy ever after’ ending. Why not? It’s akin to buying 100 lottery tickets instead of one. You can be your own knight in shining armor; or woman warrior in shining armor — it’s time for a little gender-bending with our story telling language. Still, try reaching out to someone to safely hold you and your experience when you feel stuck in an in-between place. You know who that is.
Make it a priority or practice each day, throughout the day to honor yourself in the moment with self-compassion and thoughts of gratitude, however briefly. Soon after comes self-reflection and a chance to rewrite your internal narrative and shift your outlook; the hope and meaning it gives life is immeasurable. Ask for help when needed and never give up. Life is messy, grand and beautiful. Make it yours.