If These Cheetos Gifts Are Real, I Need to Borrow $22,000 Real Quick

Guys. GUYS. I need to borrow, like, $22,000. It’s for a good cause, I promise.

Okay, I get it. You want to see where your money is going. That’s reasonable.

First, there’s this.

What you are seeing is the Big Cat Nap Sack Big Cat Nap Cap from the Cheetos Store. (Just $49.99 for the cap AND sack!) I know, I usually just ask for a 100-count box of Cheetos XXtra Flamin’ Hots for Christmas, but this year, our Frito Lay friends came up with another way for me to cheers my love of cheese.

Look at this guy. He looks so happy. Don’t you want me to be this happy???????

Then, there’s this Colour de Cheetos Bronzer. I don’t actually understand the need for this product, because can’t you just use Cheeto dust to make your face orange? That’s what I usually do.

Please don’t hold out on me. These items are hot property. Like, the Flamin’ Hot Pants are already SOLD OUT. I’m probably going to have to get them on eBay. That’s why I need so much money.

If I can’t get those, I will settle for this Eye of the Cheetah ring and earring set ($20,000).

Apparently, they are made from petrified Cheetos that were found buried in Antarctic ice/at the back of my pantry.

Just LMK about that cash? You can Venmo me.

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