Whether you’re willing to own up to it or not, at some point or another you’ve probably tried to channel your inner Carrie Bradshaw. It’s okay, we’ve all been there and those who haven’t are probably just living in a crippling fear of being deemed basic (it’s okay guys, this is a safe place).
Maybe you moved to New York City to become a writer or to find your Mr. Big (lol, how’s that going for you?) or maybe you and your closest girlfriends meet up every Sunday to gossip over brunch. Either way, you can’t deny that Carrie was good at selling the single girl in the city life—glamour! designer shoes! Cosmos! hot men everywhere to date! freelancing so you can avoid sitting at an office desk all day! a huge closet! a magical budget to pay for it all!
Well, I don’t know about you, but somewhere in the midst of a Sex and the City marathon in my Manhattan apartment (with no adequate closet space and a few roach sightings to tote) on a Friday night (when I was not club-hopping the city over cosmos with my girlfriends) I was reminded that Carrie Bradshaw is actually a big fat liar. Allured by her dating “wisdom” and good shoes, she really had us all fooled into believing that we too could move to the city and be “a real life Carrie Bradshaw.” Wrong.
Below, a list of some of the best lies she told us, because as we all know: you can never read too many SATC articles in your lifetime.
1) It’s so easy to meet men in New York! Real talk: when you’re a single woman in the city you’ll spend most of your dating life trying to find ANY decent human worth going on a date with, not deciding between two “dream” guys you’re dating at once.
2) You’ll be totally fine if you decide to spend your paycheck on shoes instead of rent. Nope, oddly enough your landlord generally doesn’t share an understanding for your love of Manolos. And you also need to know how a bank account works as a functioning adult to, you know, survive.
3) You can afford (and find) an Upper East Side apartment all by yourself with a giant closet and plenty of space. No roommates, no rodents, separate rooms for everything? Carrie’s entire apartment is a big lie in itself. Enough said.
4) You never have to take public transportation when there are cabs everywhere! Cab rides aren’t free, shockingly, and not ideal to take 24/7 on a writer’s budget. Instead, you’ll most likely find yourself sweating to death on the subway platform while waiting for the next crowded train to squeeze yourself onto with the rest of the commoners. Chic.
5) You can run around in the city in 6 inch stilettos. Those dream designer heels you splurged on are sadly not going to withstand subways, sidewalk grates, suspicious puddles and the daily grind.
6) You’ll be completely satisfied buying fashion instead of food. Nobody in the history of mankind has ever been happy buying a magazine instead of eating ACTUAL FOOD for dinner. It’s called a Shake Shack burger and fries, Carrie, quit playing.
7) You can somehow afford living in New York by only writing one column a week. Sounds like a pretty ideal setup to me but nope, this might just be her greatest lie of them all. Better go find a side hustle.