The world of television is littered with a number of back stabbing conniving mothers who won’t stop at anything to get what they want. These are the women that make us insanely grateful for our own. So in honour of mother’s day here is a list of women we are glad don’t wake us up each morning.
* Evelyn Harper (Satan): Two & a Half Men
Back when Charlie Harper was the star on Two & A Half Men, Evelyn Harper was the perfect compliment to her son’s debauchery. One may ask how, simply by being worse. The cold and calculating woman has been dubbed ‘Satan’ by her loving sons and more than lives up to her name. Having been married about 6 times and each time makes a choice that benefits her finances and social station.
We must admit though the woman is spunky. Not only is she the only one who has any kind of control over her son, she also has a vibrant sex life that she vocalises to intimidate Alan. The ‘all-natural’ redhead is both a television staple and a mother that helped carry a fledging show with her nasty presence and jokes at her children’ expense.
*Lucille Bluth : Arrested Development
The shaky matriarch on Arrested Development is both a fan favourite and one of the two mothers on the list with an alcohol dependency problem. Armed with a stiff Martini and an even stiffer personality she waltzes her way through life and society by relying on husband’s wealth.
This may not sound as bad as some other mothers but not only did she dump a man for his richer twin, she went right back to him and had a son who she raised as her current husband’s child.
Having adopted one daughter out of spite and a little Korean boy ‘to appear sympathetic’, she may seem like a character on a dark and gritty family drama but as per the show’s style of pushing dirt under the rug, she breezes through her lines with class and ease and somehow, seems quite likeable despite some questionable decisions.
She might not be so bad after all, armed with a martini and ready to spend every cent of your hard earned cash.
*Lori Grimes:The Walking Dead
On a show populated by Zombie or walkers or whatever the current season calls them, she’s the one you’ll hate the most. She’ll barter her son, lose him multiple times and in a moment that angered fans the world around, crashes a car. on a very empty road. You’ll wonder why they don’t just kill her off already. She’s literally the last person you want to be stuck with in a Zombie apocalypse.
Wait, she’s dead? Lovely.
Oh no, she’s haunting Rick now. Even after the woman’s mangled corpse disappears, you just want to strangle her all over again.
*Norma Bates : Bates Motel
So we may be cheating just a bit over here. But whether its her towering presence in Alfred Hitchcock’s original or her new incarnation in the show, Norma Bates remains as despicable as ever. Plagued by an abusive childhood, she murders and manipulates to get what she wants considering that’s the only way she knows how to survive. She remains ever devoted to her son Norman though and is a complex character with different motivations and strengths.
In fact we might just sympathise with her a little bit, she does really love her son doesn’t she?
Alright perhaps not at all.
*Cersei Lannister : Game of Thrones
There is no way you’d not expect the King’s mother not to feature on any of these lists. Lina Headley plays to perfection a driven woman who loves her children. Really, really loves her children. Even the one we all collectively wanted to punch in the face. Repeatedly.
No mother on television has managed to garner the ill-will she currently has what with all the murder and incest and alcohol dependency.
Although, it might be nice to have her as a mother. If only to watch everyone who even mildly annoyed you drop dead to the floor under mysterious circumstances.